The Ten Commandment for a Happy Madame

 So I went to Target and there was this woman in front of me that smelled like fishy Mcbites and it irritated the piss out of me because my nose hairs singed. I feel like all woman should know how to take care of their madame not just for your own personal health but for the sake of the people that have to smell you. We all know that one person or have came across that one person that smells like something unholy and if you have not then it's probably you. And if you have a friend that has madame issues then please share this with them for the good of all mankind. To keep this cute and classy lets name your vagina Madame Mary. Here are come commandments to keep Madame Mary Happy.

Thy Shall Take A Bath:

Weather you have a Virgin Mary, Proud Mary, or Bloody Mary, please take a bath or shower especial when you have a Bloody Mary. Madame Mary is naturally equipped to clean herself by use of discharge but it would be nice if you help her out by taking her for a dip in the tub. When it comes to cleaning Madame Mary try to avoid using scented soaps. I know it would be nice to walk around smelling like lavenders and roses but mother nature said no. Summers Eve and other feminine hygiene brands made washes design for the Mary so she doesn't get irritated. But not all Marys are the same, some can use these product and not have any problem but others can get irritated. It is important that you keep Mary and her other neighbors clean by using the soap that works for you. If Mary is crying red tears then please clean for at least twice a day.

Thy Shall Not Douche:

Some people claim that a douche helps keep their Marys happy but the problem with a douche is that it disturbs her PH-balance by reducing the acidity levels and making Mary more prone to get under the weather. Mary starts to release odors as a sign that she is sick with some sort of bacteria infection and your douches are masking the odors.

Thy Shall Feed Mary Healthy Foods:

Poor diet can affect the smells that Mary makes. Drinking ALLOT of water helps to flush out bacteria. Cranberry juice has properties that can help kill bacteria in the urinary tract and aid with yeast infections but make sure the cranberry juice is sugar free. A diet loaded with sugar and sodium can also cause yeast infections and UTI's. Yogurt is a  good food to eat because its packed with good bacteria that Mary loves. I have heard that Mary likes fruits such as pineapple.

Thy Shall Change Thine Pads and Tampons:

When Bloody Mary strikes always make sure you keep a clean pad or tampon. Wearing these things for a long period of time will result in Mary smelling like raw hamburger meat.

Thy Shall Wipe After a Sprinkle:

After a sprinkle remember to wipe front to back. Wiping back to front pushes bacteria towards the urinary track.

Thy Shall Wear Happy Underwear:

Lace and Satin underwear back be cute but Mary is suffocating. Cotton underwear is the best breathable fabric for Mary. Make sure you underwear isn't too small. If Mary is escaping then the underwear is too small for you bro.

Thy Shall Wear Clean Underwear:

Women are not like men in the since that we can't wear the same underwear for days and flip it around. If you do that the you are gross because Mary is always self cleaning. Make sure you wash your underwear in warm water to kill the bacteria. When Mary's tears stain your cute undies soak then in cold water and toothpaste and then clean.

Thy Shall Set Her Free:

As I mentioned before Mary likes to Breath. Sometimes wearing underwear to sleep can cause infections so every now and again sleep undieless. Those skinny jeans and booty shorts are creating heat down there for her and it makes the perfect breading ground for bacteria and odor. So be careful with how often you are wearing those clothing.

Thy Shall Keep Thine Legs Closedth:

When Proud Mary is engaging to thotetry or what ever you crazy kids are calling it you are opening her up to STD and other infections. If you have a Virgin Mary then you have nothing to worry about, but if you like to introduce Mary to Dick and Other Marys if thats what you are into then well be careful.

Thy Shall Go To The Gyno:

Take Mary to the doctor for exams to the best thing you can do if you choose to ignore all nine commandments. They let you know about everything that is going on with your little Mary. Its best if you find out whats going on with her before anything bad happens.

And there you go. If anything on this list offends you then I don't care. Remember you only get one Madame Mary. Be nice to her. Or people will make fun of you in the target check-out line.

Lazy Girl Guide to Studying

If you are anything like me you like to procrastinate. You will go out of you way to lay around and do nothing. Right? Well when you are in college you can't procrastinate as much as you could have in high school. Laziness has to be scheduled! I'm not kidding if you want to sit around watching Supernatural and yelling at the T.V all night that has to be planned or you will suffer for it later. Here is a guide on how to be lazy and get all of your homework and studying done so you can pass your classes! Some of these things I need to do better at.

Get organized

 Being lazy is allot easier when everything has a place so it saves time. I organize all of my classes in one 1"1/2 inch binder and separate each class with tab dividers. Therefore, I don't have to scramble to look for notes or homework. Put dates on top of  you notes and homework assignments so you know when you covered this in class and the due date. If you are not a binder person then a five subject notebook works fine also. Make a file folder on your computer's desktop for each class to keep papers, power points, notes and syllabus for easy access.

Schedules

 Get an agenda, download apps, or what ever you know you are going to use and plan out your week. I use a weekly organizer a calendar app on my phone and a dry erase board I can write everything I need to get done for the week in my weekly planner, put down important times and dates on my calendar and prioritize everything on my dry erase board. This way you are one step ahead because you are aware of what is going on. This way you can have room to plan out lazy days...and homework and study time. There is nothing worse than walking into a classroom and not knowing there is a test going on. I have been there.

Break It Down

It gets overwhelming when you are looking at a long list of crap to get done. Usually I look at it and go to sleep ,but I learned when you break thing up in segments it makes things easier. For example, I have a test Monday in Biology on Ch1-4. My brain goes too much info and I usually procrastinate. But If I break it down and study a chapter a day four days before the test, I will have more free time to relax. Or break it down by two chapters a day depending on the time you have. I learned from my textile class that cramming in allot of material in one day is not a good idea.

Color Yourself Happy

Sometimes its hard to get motivated. To help me stay motivated while getting studying down is coloring. It bring out the child in me. Invest in color pens, glitter pens, highlighters, sharpies, stickers, colorful sticky notes and index cards. Where ever you can get your happy color fix but don't go over board to the point where you can't read your notes. Color also helps you organize. For instance write vocab in pink, important things in red, thing you have trouble understanding in green and so on.

Helpful Study Websites

There are allot of flashcard website out there that you can use and allot of them allow you to share your cards with others. I used to be able to get pre-made flashcards for classes that someone in my class already made off Studyblue but now Studyblue wants to charge for using other people's stuff. If you are that kind of lazy and you have $3 and month to waste then Studyblue is for you. I use Quizlet because it is free and has games to play with the flashcards. There are many other study apps out there that you can download for your phone. You can also use Studyroom.com and it will connect you will your classmates and you can exchange information and ask questions about your classes. 

And there you go, my guide to help you study an be lazy. =)

Wash Day: deep conditioning Brazilian hair to stop shedding and Creme of Nature Argan oil intensive conditioning treatment review

before

Its been a week or so since I washed my hair. Lately my weave has been shedding so i'm going to try and deep condition it to see if it would shed less. I have seen some YouTube videos of people deep conditioning their human hair extensions to stop shedding so why not try it out for myself. For this was I will be using;
1) Cantu Shea Butter Co-wash

2)Apple cider vinegar and baking soda mixture to clarify my scalp underneath.

3) Tea tree oil for scalp
4) Creme of Nature Argan Oil Intensive Conditioning Treatment

after

My results after using the deep conditioner was softer and shinier hair, no tangles and a little shedding but not as much as before. All I did was spray keratin oil on it and blow dry. I like my results from the Creme of Nature Argan Oil Intensive Conditioning Treatment.

5 Things to Like About Fall

 Fall is just around the corner and i am beyond exited! Fall has to be the coziest season. My favorite season of the year is Spring, mostly because I am a Spring baby and I love the soft colors. But there is something about the crisp and cool air that just refreshes you from the melting heat that is summer. Where I'm from, in Alabama our summers are long and humid so fall doesn't really start until mid-October. 

Since I am sick of my sweating my edges out and wearing sandals, here is my 10 things I love about Fall.

1) You can let your hair down.

For me, wearing my hair down is a struggle. In the summer I stick to cute and simple buns to keep my hair from frizzing and sticking to me in the heat. As much as I love buns after a while you start developing head aches from your bun being to tight. In the fall I can let my hair be free more. Although I usually have a weave in, In the fall I do not really have to worry about my leave out frizzing.

2) Comfort.

There is nothing like a chunky cable knit sweater, fleece tights and fluffy socks inside cute boots to make you feel comfortable. Pull overs, hoodies, sweaters, jackets, leggings, tights, skinny jeans, combat boots, thigh high boots, riding boots, booties, ankle boots and ugly Uggs are all Fall essential to stock up on. Don't forget warm cozy blankets for those chilly nights in, new slippers, fluffy socks, scarves and beanies!

3) Aroma.

Fall and Winter have to best smell. Spring and Summer are all fruity, tropically and flora and that's okay if you want to mess with your sinuses but Fall has warm relaxing fragrances such as pumpkin spice, cinnamon and brown sugar, warm vanilla, toasted marshmallow, candy corn, mocha latte, and candy apple to name a few. Bath and Body works put out their new Fall candle scents not to long ago and my nose did not like what it smelled. My favorite candles for Fall are pumpkin pie and marshmallow campfire.

4) Treats.

I am a foodie and I love season treats. For summer its watermelon and barbecued food. For Fall, there are so many treats. Pumpkin spice is what I look forward to. There are pumpkin spice muffins(Starbucks and Panera are the best I have tried), pumpkin spice coffee drinks(Starbucks), pumpkin spice cupcakes with cream cheese icing(Publix), and of course pumpkin pie. Soups, stews and anything you can throw in a crockpot. There is nothing like warm chili or chicken and dumplings to warm your hands and feed your soul. Halloween is a day full of treats from candy apples, to Rice Krispy treat shaped pumpkins and monsters. Thanksgiving fills your tummy with turkey, sage dressing, cranberry sauce, and candied yams. And do not forget about your hot chocolates with the shellows(marshmellow)!

5) Change it up

  In the Fall its like the leave are about to embark on a new journey and leave their home. They go from dark green to browns, reds, oranges, and yellows and the wind comes and takes them away to new location. Designers like to mimic these colors into our wardrobe and homes. The color palate for fall are warmer and muted tones as oppose to summer bright and saturated hues. So look for dusty reds, mustard yellows, plums, olive greens, royal blues and mauve. You can pair these colors with browns, greys, black, white, go for the monochromatic look or if you are bold mix and match. Aside from fashion changing in the fall you activities change as well. Unless you live in Florida or somewhere with constant heat, you can't enjoy the beach anymore. In Alabama you can hang by the pool some days but you may have a leaf or two in your water but my point is that its not that same being in water in the fall. You can enjoy being outside more. You can go to a football game( I won't but you can). You can go on a hike and enjoy nature without dealing with as many bugs. When Halloween comes you can dress up and trick or treat or party. Or you can stay inside and watch scary movies.